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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22916278">hatred coming, hatred gone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiskanel/pseuds/fiskanel'>fiskanel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Drinking, Drunkenness, Getting Together, Hate to Love, Kissing, Love/Hate, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Smoking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:13:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,024</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22916278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiskanel/pseuds/fiskanel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I won’t fucking do anything with him,” Obito clamors when they are standing in a staircase where no one will scathe him for swearing and insults.</p>
<p>“He is the only free person now.” That’s Rin’s true talent: bailing out everyone, even the nastiest dickheads.</p>
<p>“No, Rin, you don’t get it. He’s the only one who was turned down by his group. He didn’t miss that grouping part. He actually was with some group. And they dumped him. Trust me; I can dump him even further."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>hatred coming, hatred gone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>10 things i hate about you? yeah why not</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The way Obito hates Kakashi-fucking-Hatake doesn’t compare with his loathing towards his lectures in the uni, or loud sounds, or sports. They bump into each other on foreign literature classes - the only subject Obito is cool with - twice a week for two years already, and Obito has no freaking idea what Kakashi’s major is if they have only one common subject, but he doesn’t give a damn about it.</p>
<p>“I don’t get it: why should we make our final project together? Really, why the hell? Maybe we won’t see eye-to-eye and you’ll put us a low mark, and I personally don’t need that, I’m -“</p>
<p>“You’re one to talk, Uchiha! We don’t often see you at other lectures, you only attend these ones!”</p>
<p>“Ah, shut your mouth,” Obito doesn’t even turn around at the hollo. He anchors to the desk, exploding in a tirade addressed to the professor with such resentment that the table seems to break down and the walls of the classroom will collapse like a house of cards. “Let us choose the groups ourselves or make up some blurry wording for the topics, at least. Not those narrow wordings as you always give us. That’s sooo terrible, huh.”</p>
<p>“You can form the groups yourselves, a maximum of five people. And choose the topic together, Obito, learn to negotiate. “</p>
<p>It’s sheer magic that Obito doesn’t smash the table to pieces and the room doesn’t explode, thanks gods. He turns around to look at Rin, as if saying everything without telling her a word: so, we will work together, I won’t put up with other people; we’ll hash it over during the break. Actually, during the break one more girl joins their group, but Obito isn’t offended with this fact, he doesn’t even know her name which means no past run-ins; it can’t be worse than Kakashi-fucking-Hatake.</p>
<p>They decide to take up all the possible topics during the next forlit class, and the rest of the days are all peace and tranquility for Obito; he skips classes, plays x-box, texts Rin with his crumbs-covered hand and bombards her with questions “how r the lectures” as if he cares. The lectures are all fine, probably. Attending them is not on Obito’s to-do list for the nearest future.</p>
<p>
  <strong>*</strong>
</p>
<p>“So, where’s that chick? I want her to come up to us and say that she’s not going to make this project with us. Right in my face, bitch, and explain your getaway,” Obito is ready to tear all his hair out because of someone else’s carelessness, but can only tear away the duct tape and the paper clips from the bulletin board in the hallway. Poor Rin can only curl up from his shouts.</p>
<p>“Obi, she’s taken a semester off, she has some troubles at home – ”</p>
<p>“What kind of troubles can it be, god, that’s <em>bullshit</em>!”</p>
<p>“But you actually wanted us to make it together,” Rin glances at her wristwatch: they’ve got a couple of minutes till the next class and Obito is unlikely to finish his tirade by this time.</p>
<p>“I’ve already had big plans for her!! We’ve been discussing this project for two weeks and we’ve got things started and – Oh, fuck it. Two of us, then.</p>
<p>While talking there, they get caught by their forlit tutor, Obito’s scathed for swearing, then – for insulting their ex-groupmate, but it’s all a silly joke comparing to the news that two people don’t count as a team, find a new groupmate. And no one gives a damn that all students have their groups formed already, here are five girls doing some stuff on Bronte sisters, and over there four guys focus on images of heroes in ancient Greek myths. Wow. And the two of them don’t count as a team. Hell yeah. Phat.</p>
<p>“There are some people with no groups yet, just ask them to join you.”</p>
<p>The lecture starts and Obito pensively looks around the room: there are no free people, everyone is in a team now, they’ve even grouped their tables to “work efficiently” and changed their seats, so he and Rin are like losers here – still do nothing and will eventually have to fish for joining other group. Their duo, however, turns out to be the one that someone is fishing for.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>i hate the way you talk to me,</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>“I won’t fucking do anything with <em>him</em>,” Obito clamors when they are standing in a staircase where no one will scathe him for swearing and insults.</p>
<p>“He is the only free person now.” That’s Rin’s true talent: bailing out everyone, even the nastiest dickheads.</p>
<p>“No, Rin, you don’t get it. He’s the only one who was <em>turned down</em> by his group. He didn’t miss that grouping part. He actually was with some group. And they dumped him. Trust me; I can dump him even further.”</p>
<p>“You’re wrong.”</p>
<p>“Oh fuck I <em>am</em> wrong!” he throws the cigarette roach into the window and waves quickly to make the smoke dissolve. His eyes sting; either of this smoke, or of the world’s injustice. “All right, let’s go. We’ll figure it out.”</p>
<p>All his sacred one-minute tranquility volatilizes in a glimpse of a second, when he sees one more desk next to his and Rin’s in the class. And one more chair. And Kakashi.</p>
<p>“Nope, nope, nopity, nope, get out of here,” he can’t swear in front of their lecturer, even though it’s still their break time, and Obito simply hopes that it all will borne in upon that asshole, and that this situation is just a mistake, they’ll drift apart and the project will be done by him and Rin, everything is fine; even in his own thoughts it sounds like a stupid pun.</p>
<p>“I’m doing the project with you.”</p>
<p>“Do anything you want, the project or any other shit – ”</p>
<p>“Uchiha Obito!” god, that’s not even a swear word.</p>
<p>“Sorry. Do the project, or write an essay, or paint in oils, anything but without us.”</p>
<p>“Uchiha Obito. It was me who told Kakashi to take this seat. He is working on this project with you. And today the groups need to work on my task together, too. That’s it.”</p>
<p>A voiceless scream “whyyyyyy the fuuuuucking fuck” remains stuck in Obito’s throat when Rin pulls him down, forcing to sit.</p>
<p>Their task on foreign literature might’ve been interesting – at least, other groups are now chirping around and looking for similarities between Medieval literature and modern authors, their humming fills the room, tutor busy with his own things. Obito can´t appreciate it´s full value sitting with Kakashi-fucking-Hatake who seems to hypnotize something in the task sheet, turning to Rin from time to time and discussing the exercises with her.</p>
<p>“Obito, will you join us?”</p>
<p>God, please, why.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“That’s a group task. We need to present our answers at the end of the seminar.”</p>
<p>“Hatake, it’s not we who need it, it’s you. Me and Rin will do it ourselves.”</p>
<p>“Do you know that you’re acting like a thick-headed person?” he might have one thousand and one face expressions for giving a dig to anyone. Obito remembers this trait since high school.</p>
<p>“Really? Woah. You are opening my eyes tight now.</p>
<p>Rin, sitting between them, huddles up. If Obito gets carried away now, they will fight again.</p>
<p>“How about you quit jeering, we make this project and then leave unscathed?”</p>
<p>“Oh, and you are the one who is telling me about “leaving unscathed”, yeah? Fucking gorgeous, Hatake. Bravo!”</p>
<p>The tutor doesn’t have time to pull him up: Obito jumps up his seat, then he pushes the chair closer to the desk, then he takes all his belongings – a pen and a folded task sheet.</p>
<p>“Sorry. Got to see the doctor. Completely forgot about it.”</p>
<p> Later Rin gets a message from him: “i won’t fucking walk to him rin he pisses me off i can’t stay with him i thought we would never see each other once again why the fuck is that happening rin”. Rin doesn’t text him back: busy with discussing the tasks, probably. Obito has no intention to show up at the uni for the next three days.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>and the way you cut your hair.</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>Obito doesn’t want to explain his behavior neither to Rin nor to anyone else and actually he isn’t asked to do that. Somebody has thrown a chewing gum into Hatake-fucking-Kakashi’s hair. Oh no. How come.</p>
<p>His exultation lasts for a day and the following morning Kakashi comes with a slightly renewed haircut, his hair now a bit shorter, and it takes Obito only one sight at him to feel a true bacchanalia in his head. He needed to throw even more, plus closer to the roots, so Kakashi would be fed up with cutting it out and the girls wouldn’t look at him so excitedly and wouldn’t churr “oooh, Kakashi, you’re so handsome, so smart”, and everyone would stop taking him seriously.</p>
<p>He doesn’t explain himself to Rin because she already knows it: when the class ends, she comes up to him and says what a fool he is, behaving like a jealous third-grader, with that unnecessary conflict between them and everything like that, but Obito doesn’t pay much attention to her words. Because other people are standing right next to them, admiring Kakashi. So fucking comical.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>i hate the way you drive my car.</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>Several times they plan to work in the library after classes, but each time Obito capitulates as he can’t bear it, it’s too much. He tells Rin they can’t meet when he’s sober, a catastrophe might occur, but even in the bar, with a couple of strong cocktails emptied and smoothed out with bourbon, the situation doesn’t improve.</p>
<p>“We’d better take me home,” Kakashi’s words seem muffled, as if Obito’s ears are all filled with cotton. He is holding a smoldering cigarette in his fingers and doesn’t remember when and if he pulled on it, because the world leans heavily on him with the leaden bar ceiling, his eyes all watery – again, either of world’s injustice or of smoke. Rin is chatting about something in the background, possibly angry with their irrationally wasted time. After all, she was the one to spend an hour driving to pick Obito up. Or maybe more than an hour. Obito barely understands what time is.</p>
<p>He’s got someone’s hand over his shoulders while being led to the car and someone puts a palm on the top of his head so he doesn’t hit the door or the roof. He is pressed to someone on the back seat later, caressed gently so that he stops shivering, probably, but Obito isn’t sure about it. Anyway, he is grateful to Rin, because everything seems so wrong now. Especially with Kakashi-fucking-Hatake driving.</p>
<p>“Errr, nopity fucking nope,” Obito twitches forward and accidently hits the headrest of the driver’s seat with his forehead. “You’ll crash us. You’ll crash my car.”</p>
<p>“I thought it was Rin’s car.”</p>
<p>“Rin is like a sister of mine and so is the car.”</p>
<p>“You mean, a sister?”</p>
<p>“I mean, mine, dumbass.”</p>
<p>“Let me guess, then. Alcohol is like a brother of yours, right?”</p>
<p>“Oh fuck, Rin, maybe you can drive, huh?” Obito tries to find a pack of cigarettes in his pocket and flicks a lighter like a hundred of times. And also attempts to open the window like a hundred of times. And fidgets in his seat.</p>
<p>Rin doesn’t get behing the wheel of the car, Kakashi doesn’t run them into the nearest lamppost, but that’s no excuse for Obito to stop complaining.</p>
<p>“Oh, maybe you fucking speed up even more, huh, you stupid racer?”</p>
<p>“Uchiha, maybe you enjoy your life at the back seat in silence while we are taking you home across the whole town, huh?”</p>
<p>“Maybe this, maybe that,” Obito mocks, his chin on the side of the driver’s seat and his face now close to Kakashi’s focused one. “Maybe you behave yourself, babe. And say no shit. Or else I’ll puke right here and bill you for cleaning.”</p>
<p>“It’s Rin’s car.”</p>
<p>“I don’t give a fuck,” Obito exhales smoke almost to Kakashi’s face, god bless those inches between them, Kakashi starts coughing, screws up his eyes and fucking jams on the breaks. “Shit! You stupid brat, what the fuck are you doing, you are really going to crash us, you – ”       </p>
<p>“Obi, stop it,” Rin speaks up.</p>
<p>“No, Rin, don’t.” A fucking hero. “Obito, can we leave the car for a second?”</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>i hate it when you stare. </em> </strong>
</p>
<p>“Why the fuck did you get me out of the car? Why are you staring? Why the fuck are you staring?” Obito howls and rubs his nape; somehow hit it when leaving the car.</p>
<p>“Want talk about your hatred. Do you know you’re acting like a fool?”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m so terribly sorry, Mr. Know-It-All, for being such a fool and ruining your life!” Obito tries to drop a curtsy but his body seems to go right, back to the car and then flip to the ground or lie down in a ditch, in that muddy water, as long as no one touches him. Actually, it is Kakashi-fucking-Hatake who touches him eventually, but it’s very subtle, only for Obito not to fall.</p>
<p>“Do you remember when it all started? At school, Obito. With some tag game or marathon where you cheated and later got disqualified, but decided to blame me for everything “in sympathy” so that I didn’t win it.</p>
<p>“You were the third to finish.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but it didn’t really worry you. And then you said I had stolen your girlfriend, even though I didn’t have a girlfriend at all. And then poured water on my exam task sheet. And why?”</p>
<p>“Because I fucking hate you, you are so dumb.” All that preaching and beckoning to the past sticks in Obito’s throat with all that resentment and alcohol and vomit?</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>i hate your big dumb combat boots, </em> </strong>
</p>
<p>Next morning meets Obito with horrifying hang-over but no one considers it to be a good excuse for not taking him to a café, because yay, working on their project. He is lying with his head on the table, cold surface soothing the situation; the smell of coffee from Rin’s cup seems death-like.</p>
<p>“You’ve skipped classes again, Obi.”</p>
<p>“I feel like I’ve skipped all my life. So fucking nasty. Let’s just not talk about it, huh?”</p>
<p>Rin ignores his muttering – maybe she gave him a nod, or shook her head, who knows – but now this silence is filled with bells tinkling by the door and boots scuffing, some chain clinking and chair creaking. Here he is.</p>
<p>Obito muffles and raises a bit to have another gulp of water, watches him and squints, dropping his head down and covering it with his hands.</p>
<p>The discuss their project, someone – not Rin, definitely – slides his feet under the table, shuffling, shaking the chain probably fixed to the boot as an accessory. This clinking could’ve seemed meditative – because it’s Kakashi, everything he does is nice – but now this sound echoes in Obito’s head with the loudest howl imaginable, with gnash and clank.</p>
<p>“Maybe you can take off those fucking boots?” Obito lifts his head up, but it all seems to be too fast, pain shooting through his temples; he squints one eye, and looks at the noisemaker aka the representation of his own hatred.</p>
<p>“Young man!” a barista calls him to order because of swearing. Oh, those holy people.</p>
<p>“Beg your pardon. Too loud. Fuck. I can’t – shit, sorry. I can’t handle this, it’s too loud.”</p>
<p>“The problem is not in the boots, obviously, but in your previous night.”</p>
<p>“I ain’t got a single problem, pinhead. You’re the one here who has just come and is shambling, messing everything up and pushing the table. It’s hard to concentrate.”</p>
<p>“Well, tell me, Obito,” he demonstrably interlocks his fingers and puts his hands extremely close to his owns, so Obito barely combats his desire to grab him, squeeze his palms so hard that at least one would be broken the same way he had it years ago himself, after falling from the roof of the house extension and having to wear the cast on and being mocked. He got the worst of it. Hatake wouldn’t get anything bad, as usual. “What are you trying to concentrate on? You don't participate in the project due to the feeling of great resentment, probably. You’re demonstrably ignoring us. So what’s in your head?”</p>
<p>“Your dumb boots with that dumb chain. This ding-ding, clink-clink. What is that bauble? God, so horrible.” He sighs and lies back on the table again, unable to continue the conversation. Next to him the chair is creaking – it must be Rin, she’s sitting right there. Maybe she’ll bring him water. For a glimpse of a second Obito thinks that he doesn’t know Rin, or himself, or their forced colleague. His thoughts recede with half-sleep.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>and the way you read my mind. </em> </strong>
</p>
<p>Obito’s responsibility suddenly wakes up as he realizes that he can yak on any topic in foreign literature for hours, even if he read separate parts and didn’t like the characters that much. Besides, he was the only person with perfect attendance and who always had his answers prepared for any of the professor’s questions. For this very reason he only attended foreign literature classes.</p>
<p>He texts Rin “need to meet ya”, then “to discuss the project”, then “I’ve got a brilliant idea” and finally “grab that dickhead”. The dickhead he’s talking about is of course Kakashi – Rin understands that – and now the three of them are sitting in another café, because “young man, no swearing here, we aren’t happy with visitors like you” is a phrase that Obito hears for the second time of their preparation. Not that he was eager to sit there.</p>
<p>In the café Obito gets carried away as he voices his brilliant idea of how to develop the topic, links it with several others and draws a clumsy scheme on the napkin where everything is eventually connected with the inscription “successful success.” But then Rin carefully takes his hands in her palms and says:</p>
<p>“Yes, but that’s the same Kakashi was suggesting yesterday.”</p>
<p>“You’re shitting me.”</p>
<p>“No, Obi, he was actually explaining us the same links, maybe you misheard it…Right, Kakashi? You wanted us to have some allusions, so we wouldn’t discuss one specific period but the literature of all the countries and all the times.</p>
<p>“Obito was busy lecturing me for my boots, that’s okay.” Some sort of fake laughter, again. He is ready to flip out.</p>
<p>“That’s my idea.”</p>
<p>“Obito, I suggested it last time. Maybe you remembered it while sleeping, I don’t know. But at least now we all agree on something.”</p>
<p>Obito looks at him, blinking, then at Rin's hands, which are still holding his palms and gently stroking them. Her coffee smells disgusting; her neighbor looks the same - happy, chuckling in victory, calm. Obito jerks, hitting the table so the spoons in the cups rattle and sharp pain shoots his body, and jumps up. He only says "go fuck yourself, Hatake" - and one more café is now in the list of those places where they aren’t welcome.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>i hate you so much it makes me sick;<br/>
it even makes me rhyme. </em> </strong>
</p>
<p>Rin - their connecting link, their only hope – tells them one day: “Guys. I’m going to leave you for a couple of days, but we need to discuss some things together, let’s make a video call? I’ll show what I came up with.” For Obito her leaving is like the end of the world. Maybe he should beg her to stay and to puncture the tires.</p>
<p>But here they are, sitting at their places in their evening, with their phones in front of them and video on. Obito’s attention is focused fully on the TV screen, joystick in his hands; better than staring at the object of his hatred. Together with Rin, Kakashi discusses something on topic, Rin shows a piece of her presentation and chatters about ancient Egyptian writings, all the pharaohs’ stories’, then switches to the imperial haiku, and other topics, and –</p>
<p>“Obito, what do you think?” and it’s <em>not Rin</em> who calls him.</p>
<p>“I’m not thinking, I’m busy.”</p>
<p>“Obi…”</p>
<p>“Rin, I’m serious, I don’t think about it at all.” He pauses the game and looks right at the camera. “Well, let’s include rap there in order to top it off, so that every piece of literature would be mentioned. Everything from the very beginning to the present moment.”</p>
<p>They keep silent, Rin scratching her head with a pencil. Their fucking perfection just grins.</p>
<p>“That’s a nice idea,” fucking approved it. Condescended. “Who do you want to mention?”</p>
<p>“Anyone. Myself, maybe.”</p>
<p>“Do you write rap lyrics?”</p>
<p>“Will write it for you. Here, look: “keep your thinker in a shitter, Mr Wittier”, or “Hatake’s ready to attack, but never lets to bareback”. Huh?”</p>
<p>“Obi!”</p>
<p>“Pardon, Rin. All my talents are just for you.”</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>i hate it, i hate the way you're always right. </em> </strong>
</p>
<p>They eventually agree on the fact that Obito’s work will never see the light, and Obito thinks that he would like to never see the light himself. Rin offers to limit their project with some ordinary pop-songs, promises to come back as soon as possible, just has to stay for one more day and then they will be able to sit at her place, starting to structure everything.</p>
<p>“Maybe that’s enough with the meetings, huh? We could make an open-access document.”</p>
<p>“Obi, you will have a motivation to leave the house, at least. Are you planning to do anything with other subjects?”</p>
<p>“Chill, I send all those tasks, those essays and all the shit. Everything is gonna be hunky-dory.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but there are still tests, this week we’re having three of them. You’d better come…”</p>
<p>“Sure, whatever you say.”</p>
<p>And he really comes, sits on all those consultations and listens to the topics as for the very first time, thinks postmodernism is not for him and so are the literary theory and the basis of criticism. He clutches his head – only literary, so far – groans and looks at Rin, as if she’s his savior, but she shakes her head. It won’t help, it won’t work. She will probably have her own variants and he will fail to improvise: maybe he will be asked about the origins of criticism, and that’s all, he’s taken aback, given his enrollment termination order and said goodbyes, how interesting was that to attend his forlit lectures, yay.</p>
<p>Their know-all friend texts in the group chat, addressing mainly Rin: “If Obito doesn’t prepare for the tests, then we won’t get his rap album; don’t even know if we can help him, he won’t pass it without proper support.” Obito ignores these messages.</p>
<p>He doesn’t even try to start his preparations the day before the tests, spends all his evening and all his night playing videogames and goes to sleep in the morning. Two hours of sleep and here we go to the uni. That’s incredibly stupid of the university’s administration to put all the tests on the same date for the students to suffer a bit and then leave, but Obito is hardly in a position to complain about horrible schedule if it doesn’t usually concern him.</p>
<p>He looks at Rin, then at his task sheet – fucking hell, who made those – and then at Rin again, noticing a notebook in her hands. All those students with perfect attendance were allowed to use their notes, but it barely helps in Obito’s case if he didn’t attend properly. If Rin tries to help him, there’s still a tiny chance of him writing the test and getting a satisfactory grade.</p>
<p>The notebook is filled with so many things that Obito thinks: oh wow, Rin is so much into studying, she’s written down literally everything. It’s unlikely that all those things were even mentioned on the lectures. And somehow everything works out for him: at first he finds the stuff on postmodernism, then all the literary theory and all the criticism, scribbling the answers down on the paper and having enough efforts and knowledge to finish the essay.</p>
<p>He now might have to bow at Rin’s knees and when he’s told that his high grades are just enough to pass all the three tests he thinks about marrying her, though being with him a questionable reward. Obito finds himself thinking: well, he really needed that help. It’s great that he actually came there. As soon as Rin appears in the corridor, he hangs on her neck.</p>
<p>“What an incredible friend you are, I’m so shocked. Wrote so much. Fuc – oh, sorry. I’m shocked. Thanks.”</p>
<p>Rin gives him a meek smile and hugs back. There is a pause – one more pause in their recent communication – and everything breaks down.</p>
<p>“That wasn’t my notebook, Obito. Don’t thank me.”</p>
<p>Obito somehow guesses who this notebook might belong to, but just in case drives these thoughts away. And tries to clarify.</p>
<p>“That’s Kakashi’s. He was auditing the classes, but they didn’t have exams. Another program, you know, and for this reason they are treated more leniently, so…”</p>
<p>“Why did you ask him to do that? Why the fuck involve anyone in that, damn, Rin?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t. He just gave it to me, thought it would be useful for us. Turns out he was right!”</p>
<p>Obito looks at Rin and now there are no thoughts of marrying her, even though he wasn’t serious, no gratitude and no other words. He can’t quarrel with her because of someone else’s notebook, but can be a bit angry at least. Fucking great, for sure. Kakashi is right – again – all hail him and all his deeds, bitch.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>i hate it when you lie.</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>They have one week left to finish the project, but their progress is about 40% now. They need to make a research, to analyze all that forlit stuff, to finish the document and to prepare a presentation, and the last corrections in their open-access document were made nearly a month ago, thanks to Rin, the document’s creator.</p>
<p>She hales them to the café again, and they sit there for about two hours; she calls this “team brainstorm”, even though Obito isn’t included in the process. He thoughtfully glares at Kakashi who hasn’t been texting his cheap jibes to the group chat recently and frequently changes the time of their meetings; Obito stares at his notes and new ideas, reckoning how he could fail to recognize his handwriting and fall for his tricky dole. How stupid he was then. He looks for something in his phone, scrolling the chat; here is Rin sending them several pictures with charts, here is a video where Kakashi explains his ideas and analyzes something with examples from Indian poems. The video accidently turns on and Obito who hasn’t seen it before is now glued to the screen. He peers attentively and –</p>
<p>“Oh! So you do actually have sex!”</p>
<p>It seems that all the people in the café turn around to see him and Obito raises his hands apologetically, wreathing. He now has to speak quieter due to overall pietism.</p>
<p>“You’ve got hickeys all over your neck. Might’ve been very busy. Had a great fuck, huh? Included her in the project, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>“Obito,” Rin is shocked so much that her voice dies out. “What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>“Our hero has been fucking literally all the weekend, and now he lectures us on having no things finished. Cool, right?”</p>
<p>“Obito,” he warns, as if he’s been waiting. “Do you really want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>“Obi, we are all adults, come on. Why are you so mad at him? We all have our own lives, leave him alone!”</p>
<p>“Oh, so <em>you</em> wanna talk, huh? Then do, please. Tell us how it all occurred. How was she? Is that your girlfriend or just a one-night stand? You’re such a sinless person, no one would ever think of you in such a way. And now you are sitting here, all covered in hickeys, texting her while talking to us, probably. Wow, baby, want you so much! We should do it once again! Would fuck you one more time? Yeah, like that?”</p>
<p>“No,” it’s a mystery for all the café how he manages to stop himself from smashing Obito right in his face. Thanks for not turning them out, at least.</p>
<p>“Why so? Didn’t like her? It can be seen from the video that there’s someone in your bed. And it’s written on your face that you’ve just had sex. That’s a pity videos can’t save the smell of the events, but I can say that it definitely smells like sex,” Obito stretches his hand towards Kakashi and, not facing any resistance, pulls down the collar of his shirt. “Look, Rin! Told ya! Does it hurt when I press?”</p>
<p>His wrist is suddenly grabbed – very fast and very painfully – and Obito curses.</p>
<p>“Hey! You were the one to tell us those fucking lies, saying that you were busy. And now what? Got caught?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t lie to you. No girlfriend. Let’s pretend you haven’t said all of that and we’ll finish that freaking project to break all our ties completely?”</p>
<p>“Boo, ‘freaking’, what a word! Finish, then. I’ve told you all my ideas.”</p>
<p>Obito barely manages to pull his hand and leaves; acting demonstrably, again, moving away his chair and paying only for his tea. Fuck Kakashi Hatake and his fucking lie.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>i hate it when you make me laugh,<br/>
even worse when you make me cry. </em> </strong>
</p>
<p>And then everything speeds up a lot; hundreds of messages from all the participants fill the group chat by the evening. Even Obito texts them, though all his messages are full of criticism towards everything. He spends the whole day playing videogames, but no one intends to go to sleep this night, because the deadlines are close, and so is Rin’s birthday. She asks them “not to argle-bargle for just one night” and draws them away from the project, so here they are now, sitting in the bar where last time Obito was feeling very bad, but tonight everything is different.</p>
<p>He misses that very moment when all the topics get really funny, and he wants to blame his beer, or Rin with her festive optimism, or the approaching end of the year, but he simply laughs on their jokes, smokes and breathes out up to the ceiling so that his eyes weren’t watery. He hates that stupid reaction of his body – responding to any tiny kind of smoke like that.</p>
<p>A new idea is suddenly born in his mind.</p>
<p>“Maybe we all go to my place and finish it at a stretch all together? We don’t have classes tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“It’s late already,” Rin is still that person who divides the day in two halves and thinks that nights aren’t made for any activities except for sleep. How hilarious.</p>
<p>“So what? We’re all here, everyone in a good mood, so we can do that, or I can’t vouch for myself.”</p>
<p>He laughs at his own joke, looking at them through the haze of smoke. Kakashi stares at him with an immense vivid interest, watches him in the taxi and at Obito’s place, sitting on the crumbs-covered mattress. No bedframe, just a mattress on the floor; it seems so forlorn and so might seem Obito to Rin and Kakashi, with no frame and support, bare and lonely with that world of videogames at night and fervent sparkles in his eyes.</p>
<p>It’s the first time when the initiative is totally on Obito: he is holding a laptop on his knees, quickly typing the text that Rin and Kakashi keep on tossing up; he corrects it on the go, tongue poking out the corner of his mouth in a funny manner. His suggestion to smoke a joint in the end of a hard day is met with suspicion, and Rin eventually denies it, but Kakashi doesn’t say “no”.</p>
<p>So here they are, the two of them, dragging on the same joint, lips incredibly sweet after it, weed light, and now everything gets more hilarious. Rin says it has placebo effect, because it’s so much fun for her, too, and they already have something unbelievably cheery in their minds, but it doesn’t change anything.</p>
<p>“We could’ve played truth or dare,” Obito suggests. “The circumstances only help along.”</p>
<p>His idea is eventually banned, of course: it’s too late, they’re going to leave, don’t want to risk or else one of them gets carried away again. Kakashi even calls such games stupid and explains that there’s no need to create any sort of limitations, it’s better to speak your mind any time you want.</p>
<p>“Oh, fuck youuuu, wimp,” Obito brushes off his comments and stretches forward to reach the beer.</p>
<p>The key-typing sound fills the room and Rin turns on her soft playlist, a couple of new ideas and they will finish. The quirly is just enough for two more drags; yet, it was made for one person.</p>
<p>“I wasn’t lying then,” Kakashi says. “I didn’t have a girlfriend.”</p>
<p>“Stop that bullshit, gosh. I don’t give a fuck. Let’s forget about that,” Obito makes another drag on the cigarette and closes his eyes. It’s so blissful, so good right now. Would’ve lived like that forever and had no problems.</p>
<p>“That was a boy.”</p>
<p>As Obito drags on, such news arrives. He coughs, surprised and shocked, smoke whirling in his lungs and bittering on the tongue as well as in his eyes. Laughter seizing him to the very fingertips.</p>
<p>“What the fuuck?”</p>
<p>He is still laughing and rubbing his eyes, tears streaming down like a waterfall, and Rin pushes him in the shoulder to make sure he wouldn’t start mocking. But Obito doesn’t intend to. He wants to listen.</p>
<p>“I said it was a boy. A one-night stand, yeah, like you’ve said. Your only mistake was that you called that person a girl.”</p>
<p>And Obito feels funny, and suddenly sorrowful, and keeps on laughing, and crying and then spits out: “Happy for you.”</p>
<p>Even though he can see nothing happy about it.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>i hate it when you're not around, </em> </strong>
</p>
<p>After Rin’s birthday they all need some time to have rest: they don’t text each other, don’t call and don’t attend classes. Obito has enormous plans for the project: they’ve been promised to get a fortune for perfect presentations, furthermore, some groupmate has claimed that “no one has ever seen a cooler forlit project that they did.”</p>
<p>Rin texts him, not the group chat: “Phone up?”</p>
<p>Obito spends an hour talking to her, clearing up how to finish the project, what conclusion they should have and what the actual value of their work is, and then in a hint of a second switches the topic:“And where’s our common friend? Busy fucking again?”</p>
<p>“He is… Actually, Obito, he’s been speaking about leaving the project and asking the lecturer to have it on his own. But that’s not a fact. I texted him, but he’s off-line.”</p>
<p>“Oh, how familiar, yeah? Like that girl with a semester off, but no one will ever let him fucking go, we’re having our presentations in two days, and a duo isn’t a team, to say nothing about working alone.”</p>
<p>They chat about something abstract, and it’s nearly midnight when Rin goes to sleep, leaving Obito all alone. His chat with Kakashi only has three messages in a row – thanks to their first week of studying – and they are “asshole”, “dickheaaaad” and “fuck you.”. He’s not very ashamed of it, though.</p>
<p>Obito texts him “what’s up”, and “where r u”, and “where’d u go”, and dozens of similar messages before spitting out “the deadline is in 2 days”, and “hellloo scumbag”, and “stop fucking!!! we r waiting.” Some more insults, threats and accusations and Obito gives up. Fuck it. It’s the first time he goes to sleep so early.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>and the fact that you didn't call. </em> </strong>
</p>
<p>The green dot of light he sees next to Kakashi’s profile picture in the morning and the two ticks next to the read messages do not make him happy at all, because Obito still gets no response. His childhood, school hatred now starts to boil in him again: of course Kakashi <em>can</em> afford it, he is sinless, a saint person, always on the first positions; he won’t have any problems, he is perfect in any possible aspect – a perfect child, a perfect student of who-the-fuck-knows faculty, and perfect fucker. He might be fucking that guy day and night, dropping the projects and letting everyone down – because he can afford it, god damn. Obito writes a couple of words to him and then texts Rin: she asks him not to be that angry and finish the work. Yet they have no conclusion for it.</p>
<p>Surely, Kakashi shows up: he sends them a document with that concluding part, says “we need to meet”, but Rin can’t. However, Obito is the one who <em>can</em>. He definitely has something to say.</p>
<p>In the midst of the week the bar isn’t very crowded, five or six more people enter it late at night. The hands of Kakashi´s watch annoy with their ticking, signifying nine hours left till their presentation.</p>
<p>“And where was our lover-boy?”</p>
<p>“Is there any difference now?”</p>
<p>“Well, you were the one advocating truth, so here I am, waiting for it. Rin told me you dumped us.”</p>
<p>“We’re here to finish the project, aren’t we?”</p>
<p>“Sure, you can finish it, but I’m waiting for the truth.”</p>
<p>Kakashi sighs but doesn’t say a word. He stares at his phone, while Obito is glaring as if he intends to violently uproot the words from him, and then Kakashi says: “That’s the ending, here we should say this and that, the conclusion is the following, the value is like that.” But Obito doesn’t listen to him.</p>
<p>“I want truth. Come on. Not dare, it’s high time to play that game.”</p>
<p>“I went to another town. Happy now? Can we go on?”</p>
<p>“To fuck?”</p>
<p>Obito chuckles, as though this phrase is his bargaining chip he’s just used to revenge Kakashi for that smart school kid, and that talented auditor with those detailed conspectus, and those giggles. He puts his hand under the chin and smiles so softly, so flirty, so tantalizingly, so mesmerizingly. He blotted Kakashi out. Obito triumphs for a couple of seconds, unless Kakashi opens his mouth.</p>
<p>“To bury.”</p>
<p>“Wow.”</p>
<p>Kakashi says nothing else on this topic, only continues to talk on the project; maybe it doesn’t hurt him that much, or maybe it’s just his strange reaction, or maybe it’s a fucking lie again, but now a bit more convincing. Obito reasons that Rin would come in handy.</p>
<p>“And now a question for you, Obito.” Kakashi’s voice is quiet and even. “What’s your problem with that guy? Are you jealous because you didn’t have sex?”</p>
<p>“Nah,” he shrugs his shoulder, but everything inside of him screams. “Just surprised that you let someone fuck you.”</p>
<p>“They let me fuck them, Obito.”</p>
<p>And Obito bursts into laughter, head down on the bar rack, laughing so hard that every person there can hear him and patting Kakashi on the back, like, man, you’re so fucking cool at making jokes, such a dab hand.</p>
<p>“It’s been years, but you still have two reactions to my word and actions: either laughter or tears.”</p>
<p>“No fucking way, you don’t make me cry. I’ve always hated you, Hatake, and you only enjoyed it!”</p>
<p>“Can you ratiocinate it?” He takes away the phone and interlocks his fingers the way he did it in the very beginning of their work.</p>
<p>All that Obito’s rationalism is made of tiny insults, nourished with jealousy and something else that he keeps on hiding under his laughter and silly stories, sprouting in his mind over and over. He explains this with his tongue tripping, thoughts overlapping; Kakashi is waiting for him to finish.</p>
<p>“You’re so… Odious. I don’t know. I wouldn’t kill you, but those feelings send me shivers. Too fucking much.”</p>
<p>“And are you okay with that?”</p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p>“You’re bathing in that hatred and those who surround you have to suffer. You annoy the lecturers, insult Rin, and deprive café owners of profit from such visitors like us.</p>
<p>Obito’s mind dies out with this phrase, as if he’s been hit with something heavy on his head, leaving only one thought he’s been fighting with for the last several months.</p>
<p>“You were the one to mention jealousy, Obito. And do you know where it usually comes from?”</p>
<p>“Shut the fuck up.”</p>
<p>“As you like it.”</p>
<p>Obito looks up at him and feebly watches his actions: here’s Kakashi with his hands free, fingers not interlocked anymore, reaching for his face; here’s Kakashi cupping his face. The pieces of puzzle in Obito’s mind don’t meet together: they should kiss like that. His brain glitches. It wasn’t a date, they were working on a project, they both need to have a good sleep now to make a perfect presentation the next morning. Obito doesn’t want to think, doesn’t want to push him away and to let him go; the feeling of it is so familiar that he’s scared of himself.</p>
<p>Kakashi backs off and then kisses him again, now in the corner of his lips, in the corner of his eye that is always watery, thanks to those tears because of smoke or of the world’s injustice. And that is so fucking familiar again, it belongs to him, to Obito, it seems like they’ve been spending all their meetings after high school sneaking kisses in the corridors, hiding out in the secret corners and hanging at Obito’s place instead of working on a project.</p>
<p>“Stop it,” he sounds like begging.</p>
<p>“Tell me the truth.”</p>
<p>Obito doesn’t give a fuck what truth Kakashi actually wants to hear from him, he doesn’t even remember the last question, the thread of the talk now torn right in his hands when he hasn’t been ready for it. No thoughts at all.</p>
<p>“Love you.”</p>
<p>“What? Sorry, it’s too noisy,” he taunts like he’s always been doing it, caressing Obito’s hair and not kissing him properly – just burning his skin with his tender lips.</p>
<p>“I love you?”</p>
<p>“Are you asking me about it?”</p>
<p>“Bitch,” Obito pulls him closer and bites Kakashi’s lip, having his own revenge. “I love you. I fucking love you.”</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>but mostly i hate the way i don't hate you. </em> </strong>
</p>
<p>“Damn, where did you learn how to fuck like this, you twat” Obito’s body is numb and sore for each and every possible reason. His neck hurts, and so do his legs and the small of his back, but Kakashi shows no sign of finishing soon, judging by his passion.</p>
<p>“No twat,” he even has time to make jokes, fuck.</p>
<p>“Brat. Fucking brat.”</p>
<p>It’s uncomfortable to have sex on his mattress with no bedframe, Obito hits the wall with the top of his head every now and then, and it’s the first time he regrets not buying the framework. When Kakashi tells him to turn around and to kneel, Obito loses balance and almost slips to the floor - the mattress is about 8 inches high; and here, on this mattress, Obito is exhausted, a little drunk and immensely satisfied.</p>
<p>The mattress isn’t the only inconvenience Obito currently has, because Kakashi pushes him forward, touches him everywhere, and presses his hand to Obito’s neck in a warning gesture. Obito thinks that no other hand has ever been pressed to his neck so naturally. He doesn’t even want to come, mainly for the reasons of his own power saving: he’ll have to go to the bathroom, get a shower, look for some clean clothes.</p>
<p>But Kakashi doesn’t ask his opinion on the question and jerks him off, biting his shoulder, and somehow manages to fuck him properly, so that Obito can hardly bear it. He screams in the pillow, squeezing it so hard that his knuckles go white, bites his own palm. He is all sweaty, legs trembling and back tense, Kakashi’s dick still in his ass, and he wants to sleep, wants to kiss and to cuddle for the rest of his life, but his attempts to turn over and to pull Kakashi closer fail; it was much more beautiful in those PornHub videos, everyone was pleased and pretty and moaning in soft voices. But there was no Kakashi in those videos, so Obito considers himself to be if not the winner of his life, then at least of this night for sure.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>Obito needs half an hour in the morning to get up and to make his way to the bathroom. He doesn’t want to think of how much sleep they eventually got and what they look like now because the project is more important. Obito accidently glances at his own reflection in the mirror and grimaces, every single part of his body is itchy with the needles of recent memories; Kakashi-fucking-Hatake is still sleeping quietly in his bed and doesn’t have to make himself presentable, thanks to the nature that endowed him with that. Same can’t be said about suffering Obito.</p>
<p>He texts Rin, reporting from the two of them that everything is fine, though he has now idea how they will get to the uni. Rin scolds: she’s been nervous, been reading the ending, looking through the pages, and she still has no clue of what happened at night.</p>
<p>“Wanna say sorry?” as Obito was trying to save his body from the numb ache in the tub full of hot water, Kakashi woke up. Here he is, lying there, staring at him, all handsome and naked.</p>
<p>“For what?” Obito pretends to know nothing.</p>
<p>“For your everlasting hatred.”</p>
<p>Obito turns to him, buttoning the shirt with his naughty fingers, and comes closer. The sensations are strange: he is standing in his boxers and a white shirt, his body is screaming internally and begging him to lie down and to sleep for at least 10 hours, and to spend some more hours on someone else’s dick, and to cuddle for 5 years in a row, surrounded with love and affection to repair all the omissions.</p>
<p>“But I do hate you,” he sits on the edge of the mattress and regrets doing it the same second as the small of his back aches more than he expected. “And do love you more because of that. Now, please, help me, we’ll finish that project, and you’ll be able to do whatever you want.”</p>
<p>They are almost late: Obito keeps on kissing him, and kissing, and kissing, and he can barely imagine pulling away from each other, they fell greedily towards these sensations. Kakashi has a feral look in his eyes when he corners Obito in the kitchen, with a cup of tea, and he laughs so hard when they spill this fucking tea over Obito’s shirt which he’s been fighting with the whole morning. The look Obito has is not feral, it’s freaking ferocious: as he sees his reflection, he realizes that this shirt could at least cover part of the hickeys he got last night, and the t-shirt he now has to wear doesn’t improve the situation at all. The way they present their project is a true miracle, besides, they don’t get killed by Rin for being late and listen to her screaming “I told you”, referring to their sudden love. They finally get their framed certificates; someone from the administration promises them a payment, people are chatting about earning extra credits and being free as a bird, and Obito breathes out the smoke to the staircase window, wiping down the tears. That’s it. They’ve done it.</p>
<p>“Is that again the smoke to blame for your tears and not me?”</p>
<p>“Oh, fuck off.”</p>
<p>Fucking off is definitely not on Kakashi’s to-do list for the nearest future.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://link.tospotify.com/KVPlhDfkBab">► playlist</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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